Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
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