By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
