I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Randomize
