Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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