its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I'm really busy with my period
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