no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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