HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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