after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
