I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
