Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
