he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
