What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
We named our party play list daddy issues
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
