ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
