where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
