You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
