Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
You made out with two different species that night
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
