The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Randomize
