My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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