operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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