you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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