Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
