she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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