you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Randomize
