Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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