Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize
