Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
