Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Randomize
