You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
