The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
