I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
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