This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
