at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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