just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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