why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
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