i just had sex bonerless
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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