Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Dick very happy bro
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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