when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
