She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
