There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
