you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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