so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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