he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
