My first STD was from a foam party
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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