She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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