hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
