Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
