Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
