I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
