So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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