I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I want her autograph on my taint
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
