Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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