Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize