it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
