If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
