My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
