I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
