There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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