and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize