all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
