We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
