No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
