Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
love makes seman taste better
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
