it was like fucking gandolphs beard
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
