dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
