mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
