singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
