I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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