I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
