you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
