this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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