Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
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