where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
