So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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