Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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