he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
