i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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