K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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