I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
