Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
