my mouth tastes like poor choices
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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