Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
