I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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